Triggered

I was recently triggered and I couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much. My sister went into a WOMEN owned massage spa to get me a gift card for Mother’s Day and while she was there her daughter was begging to nurse, my sister asked “would you be okay if I nursed her really quick?” One lady, “can’t you nurse her in the car?!” My sister is absolutely non confrontational but explained that her car was a pretty far walk and it was 85* and humid outside. The other lady, “we can just offer her a room to sit in so it doesn’t bother the customers”. This triggered me to my core, but why? I think every mom has been shamed in how they feed their kids, no matter what it is that they feed them. Always shame, and typically from other women or moms, especially older generations. As I over analyzed the situation I wasn’t even apart of I realized what was so triggering, a few things actually. 1 (one), so many moms that I coach suffer from postpartum anxiety, anxiety of being out with your baby and they have a meltdown or are hungry or nap time, as well as the actual dangers in the world; and this woman told her to leave, instead of offering to be a safe space. 2 (two), in that exact moment, my sister was in fact one of their PAYING customers. 3 (three), as moms we stop what we are doing to feed our babies all day every day, almost to an exhausting point and here my sister was supposed to change everything about her plans for the day because nursing made this woman feel uncomfortable, get uncomfortable lady, I don’t care. 4 (four), does that lady eat her food in a hot car?! I’m guessing not. 5 (five), we live in suburbia, your customers you are concerned with are probably 75-80% moms. Moms that have probably been there or dads that have been a support person to a nursing mom. 6 (six) it really makes me not want to support their business because I coach moms to ignore mean people like this and stand firm in being the best mom possible, even if that means nursing in public, so am I a fraud for cashing in the gift card for a business that doesn’t support my business or beliefs?! 7 (seven), in 2019 a federal law was passed that you can legally breastfeed in public in all 50 states and all territories.

So in conclusion, there was just so much that bothered me, why as women are we not supporting each other, even if it’s something we don’t understand?! It takes so much courage to nurse in public and I’ve been doing it for so long I forgot that moms get trolled. I have to say, most times I nurse in public I get an “atta boy” and it’s typically from dads, they admire the no shame game I guess and aren’t afraid to say it. I wish moms had more confidence to encourage more than shame. If you are nursing, nurse. If you are bottle feeding, make the damn bottle. If you are giving your kids a snack, thank goodness they aren’t hangry. Most importantly, give yourself strength and forgiveness! Xoxo 😘