Betrayal

Sure, he betrayed me. He betrayed us. He got into an emotional relationship outside of ours. And yes, it broke me. It broke us. It broke our family. But, this isn’t about him or that betrayal. Through all the counseling and exhausting conversations about how we got here, I have found that my biggest betrayal didn’t come from him or that relationship. My biggest betrayal came from myself. I was carrying everything and everyone. I wasn’t asking for help and didn’t even stop long enough to see how bad I was drowning me, drowning us. I’m not giving him any excuses for his wrongdoings, by any means. I am, however, acknowledging my wrongdoings and working on healing this part of myself that I didn’t even realize was hurting. How can I properly nurture and care for my relationship if I wasn’t properly nurturing and caring for myself? I know it’s cliché but the best thing you can ever do for others is to take care of yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self care, self love are the best and truest things you can ever do for yourself and your loved ones. I betrayed myself. It hurts to hear, it hurts to say, it’s a form of failure that didn’t come from anyone but me. I have since slowed down, listened, talked, reflected, asked for help, cried (endless amounts), but ultimately starting caring for myself more. If you are drowning, ask for help. Don’t carry so much that you neglect yourself. Please take care and spread love. If you need help, I’m always here, reach out and I can do what I can to support you. All the healing 😘